Finn's Birth Story

In honor of Finn turning a year old a couple days ago, I decided to finish and post my birthing story…better late than never!

May 29

Today is the day I bring a baby into the world. I woke up around 2:15 to feeling like I was peeing my pants. And it just kept coming. After laying there for a while and debating whether to wake Landon up or not, I finally felt it leaking through and nudged him. "I think my water just broke." He just looked at me. "Really?" He went and got me some towels, then I decided it was better if I just went and sat on the toilet, since it was not stopping. As I sat there, I was still trying to make reality of the situation. I didn't think my water would break. And I was hoping to make it to Sally's wedding stuff Friday and Saturday (today is Wednesday). Danielle (my awesome midwife) said she didn't think I'd make it to my due date. And my birthing time wouldn't be that long. We still have to see about that part. 

After sitting on the toilet for 20 min I got up, called Danielle, and put a pad on then climbed back in bed. She told me it could take anywhere up to 24 hrs for pressure waves to happen. I turned on my pregnancy affirmations to settle me down. When I laid down, the leakage just wouldn't stop. I finally felt it go through my pad an was feeling slight cramping. And my stomach was growling. So I got up and sat on the toilet some more. I then listened to birthing affirmations. When my leaking had slowed, I put on my deepening track because it always puts me out, and settled in to the recliner. It got me really relaxed and so close! But no sleep. It was 5 by then. And I was still hungry. So I gave up and went to eat an orange and a piece of toast. Starting to get pressure waves in my back. They feel like cramps, just all around the pelvis and strong in the two back pelvic joints. I then laid back down in bed. I really wanted to sleep, but it's just not happening. And some of those pressure waves come on pretty strong. So I started writing this. Now it's 6:30. Fun day ahead! I get to see my baby boy!!!

After I finished writing this I didn't wake Landon up till 7:30 but I should have woke him up at 6:30!  We still had to set up the birthing pool and I wanted to change the sheets on our bed.  Landon decided to make me a big breakfast—we were anticipating a long day ahead of us and I needed my energy!  I tried to change the sheets on the bed but at that point any physical exertion seemed to cause another contraction.  I had to kneel down on the ground a couple times and eventually gave up on the sheets. 

I told Landon he had better work on the birthing pool because these were coming on strong.  I needed to get in the shower.  Hot water is a birthing lady’s best friend!  It felt so good, but didn’t quite relieve the pressure I was feeling in my lower back/pelvic joints.  After a while I lay down in the tub and had to start focusing on every contraction.  I tried to still think of them as pressure waves (lingo from my Hypnobabies class), but contractions seems more natural typing to that’s what I’ll say.  I desperately tried to apply all the things I learned in Hypnobabies but these contractions were taking me by surprise and I wasn’t handling them as composed as I’d hoped to…ha!  The most effective thing for me to focus on was breathing out the words “peace” & “relax” in between each contraction to allow my body to recover.  Deep, slow breathing.  I desperately wanted Landon by my side, just to be with me but I could here him scrambling around outside the bathroom.  I would yell for him on occasion and he would stay for a minute but leave again. 

I want to clarify that I was not as prepared as I should have been for this birth.  For those skeptical of birthing at home, all of this may sound a little crazy, uncomfortable, and hectic (it’s going to get more hectic very soon!)  Most of the chaos was my procrastination manifesting itself over and over.  I thought he might come early but wasn’t completely prepared for all the details.  I hadn’t asked my mom to come and be there during the whole process, hadn’t arranged for anyone to take pictures, still hadn’t told Danielle to come, and I definitely hadn’t thought things would escalate this quickly!  For that reason I let Landon sleep in (in hindsight I realize I should have been MUCH more selfish.  I was the one having the baby and the one that needed extra pampering, right??  Next time…) 

Well, things had become quite intense in the tub.  I was making all sorts of interesting groans and loud noises.  Landon called my mom and Danielle.  I could not even think straight at this point.  He asked me if she should come now.  She lives about an hour away in Perry.  I desperately wanted him to just talk to her and make that decision and don’t make me think or speak!  She heard me groaning through the phone and thought, “Uh oh.”  She thought I was already in the pushing stage.  She left as soon as she could.  They later told me about them driving in the median in downtown Logan to pass cars, doubling the speed limit in some places…I love my birthing team.

My mom showed up…what a huge relief, I was so grateful!  I REALLY wanted to get in the birthing pool and kept asking Landon about it…unfortunately getting a new water heater a week ago still didn’t prevent me from running out all the hot water.  So they were heating up water on the stove.  Before that, the hose that runs from the water heater to the pool was hooked up to the wrong place and somehow got dirty water in the pool.  So they had to take the pool outside and hose it out.  All this while I’m groaning in the bathtub, wondering what the heck was taking them so long and why no one was in there supporting me?? 

They finally let me in the pool.  It wasn’t warm.  I was annoyed.  I tried to absorb every hot pot of water they would dump in.  Still, the weight off my body from being in the water was a VERY welcome relief.  And squatting…that was the only way to go.  Good thing I have good form from lifting weights in trackJ The pain in my back was something crazy intense.  I couldn’t get any relief from it.  The techniques suggested in class like Landon applying pressure on my hips was excruciating…it felt like it doubled the pain.  Breathing was still crucial in between contractions.  It helped me relax and prepare for the next one. 

Danielle and Amuri (her birth assistant) showed up around 9:00.  I was so, so, so happy!  She had warned Landon that he might have to catch the baby if she didn’t get there.  That would have been interesting. 

These two were just what I needed.  Amuri pampered me as much as she could, getting cool rags to place on my forehead, helping with pots warming on the stove.  Danielle’s peaceful voice affirming that I was doing everything just the way I was supposed to gave me that confidence boost I needed.  Before that I had no idea what stage I was at, how close I was, if I was pushing…she told me to listen to my body and I was so relieved just to have her tell me that.  Landon was great in reminding me to breath and relax through all the contractions.  He wasn’t all about comforting and encouraging me (I really think he viewed this as just another intense 400m on the track for me).  Still, I needed him just to be by my side, hold my hand through contractions, and remind me to breath.  He was great for that.

Danielle wanted to check me, just to make sure I was as far along as I sounded.  She really had no idea what to expect!  When she said, “Yeah, Tiera, he’s right there!”  I was like, whaaaat??  I was hoping, but not expecting that.  Trouble was, he had been “right there” for a while and I wasn’t making any progress.  I had to really get serious about this pushing…like I wasn’t already!  Eventually Danielle told me if I didn’t make any progress soon, I’d have to get out on the bed and see if she could manipulate him a little bit.  Welp, that was all the motivation I needed to make some progress.  I was NOT getting out of this tub and lying on my back on a bed.  To me, that sounded as bad as grabbing a handful of knives and stabbing them in my back.  I don’t know how I ever could have delivered in a hospital bed…serious.  I HAD to squat. 

So a little bit of manipulation of my hips and different squatting position with the help of Amuri got this little guy a little bit closer.  I could feel him!  Literally.  I put my hand down and felt his head up inside me.  I was doing it.  That was my little boy--he was so close!  Danielle made me change positions so I was kind of sitting with my arms draped over the side.  At this point, pushing comes as a welcome relief.  I don’t know how to explain it other than the contractions change so you have an incredible desire to push instead of a powerful tightening feeling.  The only problem is that ring of fire.  Danielle told me again to listen to my body, gradually pushing and stretching everything out.  I gave some good pushes for a while and his head finally came!  RELIEF.  Over my whole body.  

Danielle had me wait while she checked his head out…still fully submersed in the water.  She was checking out his head and paused, looking up.  “Asynclitic,” she told Amuri (she was waiting to take notes).  I didn’t find out till he was in my arms that this means his head was tilted towards his shoulder in the birth canal, which makes it harder to fit through.  That explains why he took so long and I wasn’t making any progress!  Because he came through in this position, his cone head was on the front right side instead of the back of his head.  I believe that, in a way, this was a blessing for us.  If he had been the right way, I probably would have had him before Danielle got there.  However, never did I feel like Finn or I had anything to worry about.  I knew my body was doing what it was supposed to and that everything was going to be fine.

Pushing out his body was relatively easy.  And then he was there!  I had relief, gratitude, satisfaction, love, awe…all of these things swept over me in that moment as she placed him immediately on my chest.  He seemed so content and peaceful.  After a while he opened his eyes, and ten minutes later he started nursing on his own.  This, to me, was a miracle.  How do babies have that natural instinct?  I was amazed.  It’s all an affirmation to me that we were created by a powerful and loving Father in Heaven.  It was so peaceful laying there, gazing down at my sweet boy (he looked a little like Quasimodo to be honest, with his abnormal head).

To me, giving birth was such an empowering experience.  I feel blessed and grateful to be a woman and know that God created me for this purpose.  My body was created so I could give birth!  Was it easy? No.  But so worth it.  I was able to take in every feeling, every emotion of the birth process on my own terms according to what felt right to Landon and I.  In the peace of my own home.  For me, that is what I needed.  And now I have a very cute baby that loves being in the water.